The Miscellaneous Adventures of Team Eye
by Negetive2digit
Summary: They helped save Termina, now they've just got to pay off their massive debt to the Stock Pot Inn. Join Rusl, Ashei, and Shad as they try to come up with 16,000 rupees with their detective services, and, maybe, have unforgettable adventures too, or not.
1. Home Crappy Home

**This is a little spin-off from Zelda Heroes. Rusl, Ashei, and Shad (aka Team Eye), are now focusing more on being a detective agency and silly things are bound to happen. I think I characterized them right in ZH, but I might be a bit rusty, especially with working on Knil the Shadow right now, too. Anyway, I own nothing!**

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><p><strong>Episode 1<strong>

"Rusl, where is this house you bought with our reward money, yeah?" Ashei complained as the trio trudged up the hill.

"Patience, we'll get there soon enough," Rusl replied, panting with a good-natured smile of joy of exercise.

"You said that an hour ago…" Ashei muttered darkly. They finally reached the top of the hill and Shad, a couple of minutes later, stumbled, wheezing and sweating, to their side, laden like a pack mule.

"Not to be…a bother, but…why am I the…one carrying the luggage, again?" the bookworm inquired, finally collapsing in a heap.

"Well, you were going on about how it wasn't that heavy, so I gave you mine too, remember?" Ashei taunted. Shad looked guiltily at the ground.

"Well, yes…but, Ashei…" he started to protest.

"Behold!" Rusl pointed over at the other side of the flat space at the top of the hill. "Team Eye's new Headquarters!" It was a wooden house with two floors, several windows, and, at least, a couple of doors. Shad dropped the luggage and struggled to his feet, looking with awe at the building.

"An eye opener and no mistake," he breathed.

"It certainly looks more comfortable than the inn," Ashei admitted, hiding how impressed she was that Rusl found such a good house and plot of land for 10,000 rupees. Surely most aristocrats of Castle Town couldn't brag about such a thing.

"Well, come on, let's go inside, shall we?" Rusl set off for the house, leaving Shad to scramble to pick up all the luggage again. Ashei, taking pity after watching him struggle for a minute, crouched down and picked up her bags. It had been rather low to make him carry them, as her bags had things like weapons, armor, and training paraphernalia in them, as well as clothes.

"Come on, nerd boy," she goaded in her usual flat tone before setting off after Rusl.

As they approached the door, Rusl pulled out a key ring and unlocked the door with a skull key.

"After you," he waved his arms to point at the door. They went inside and he followed them, shutting the door behind him.

"So…this is the new HQ?" Ashei looked around skeptically at the empty room. "Where's the furniture, yeah?"

"Well, there's a table in the dining area," Rusl lead them over to it, after they dropped their bags. "And chairs to go with it,"

"And a stove?" Shad asked, holding his glasses with two fingers as he looked around for one. "Where is the counter, or the pantry?"

"Well, that's the thing…" Rusl scratched the back of his head.

"YOU MEAN THERE'S HARDLY THE BASICS IN HERE, YEAH?" Ashei's voice scared off some birds a mile away.

"Now, now, Ashei, as long as we have beds, we can make do with food," Shad attempted to calm her down.

"This explains why the house was so cheap, yeah!" Ashei raged around the room. "There's hardly any furniture and no place to store or cook food! What are supposed to do, yeah? Forage and hunt everyday?"

"Well…until we get some more capital coming in," Rusl replied, a cautious distance away. "We have a postbox outside and I've put flyers around Castle Town, so we should get some jobs," Ding, ding, ding! The postbox's bell rang from outside.

"Mail call!" the postman yelled from outside.

"Speak of the dark realm," Rusl hurried outside.

"Good news," Shad's voice came from down the nearby hallway, where he had, apparently, fled to moments earlier. "There are three bedrooms, each with it's own accompanying twin bed, and a washroom containing one washtub and a mini-burner for water heating,"

"Is there a kettle?" Ashei asked, expectant of the negative.

"No, I'm afraid not," the bookworm appeared from the door at the end of the hall. Ashei slapped her forehead.

"Typical…" she muttered. Just then, Rusl came back into the house.

"Hey, we've got our first job!" he said excitedly, waving the letter around. "Someone named Princess Agitha wants us to head over to the Faron Woods and collect some special sand for her so that her bugs will be more comfortable,"

"What?"

"Come again?" Ashei and Shad, respectively, replied.

"You guys heard me," Rusl put away the letter. "Now, pick a room and take your things there, we're heading out soon!"

"It is 16:48," Shad objected, pointing to his pocket watch for emphasis. "We won't have enough time to go there and back before nightfall,"

"Listen to nerd pants, he's right for once," Ashei agreed.

"Hey!" Shad protested to the insult.

"Fine, fine, we'll go tomorrow," Rusl relented, going off to his room. "You two draw straws for the two rooms. I've got the one by the washroom," Ashei and Shad looked at each other.

"No need, Ashei, I'll simply take another gander around the premises whilst you choose a chamber to inhabit," Shad offered. "I shall manage with the remainder," Ashei rolled her eyes at his silver tongue and hefted her bags into the nearest room, which happened to be the furthest from the bathroom.

"Hmm…no firewood nor place to store it to speak of, and an outhouse. A ramshackle one at that," the bookworm muttered, holding his glasses as he looked around the yard. Heading back inside, he observed the kitchen's lack of stove, counter, and pantry, and the sitting room's lack of any furniture at all.

"So what's the word, yeah?" Ashei asked flatly, approaching suddenly and making Shad jump.

"No firewood or corral for it, nor furniture in the sitting room. The only latrine present is a rather poorly-constructed outhouse in the rear yard," he reported in his English tones. "This abode holds the barest of basics,"

"Well, we'll make do when we've completed a few jobs," Rusl assured them from the opposite wall. The sitting room was the room the front door was in, after all.

"What is that, a clock?" Ashei raised an eyebrow as Rusl hung in on the wall. It was a simple clock, similar to the ones in Termina, but, instead, it had two hands that pointed to the numbers and a pendulum that swung with an annoying tick-tock noise, though it still had the sun/moon panel.

"Yes, it was in my bedroom," the swordsman replied. "With this, at least we'll know the time," The clock chimed 17:00 as he finished speaking.

"That thing better not keep me up tonight or it's broken trash," Ashei warned darkly, heading back to her room. Rusl sighed.

"Well, Shad, I best be going out to fetch some food," he said, heading for the door. "I'll be back by sunset,"

"Good luck," Shad replied before Rusl left. Sighing, the bookworm lugged his baggage to his new bedroom and placed it in the corner before beginning to unpack.

The next thirty minutes were the simple process of unpacking and arranging his belongings around the room to his liking.

"I'm back!" Rusl called, coming in the door with three butchered pheasants. Ashei and Shad came out of their rooms to see what he'd fetched.

"My word!" Shad held his nose and averted his eyes. "What are those?"

"Pheasants," Rusl replied nonchalantly.

"Right…" Ashei's nose scrunched at the scrawny birds.

"We'll have to cook them outside, as we have no stove," Rusl continued. Ashei and Shad looked at one another as their de facto leader walked outside, whistling a tune, and began to de-feather the birds.

"This life will take some getting used to," Shad commented, straightening his glasses and glancing at the gory scene outside, only to quickly avert his gaze again.

"Eh, I've lived like this for years," Ashei said dismissively, giving a one-handed shrug. "But I still like basic comforts, yeah? And Rusl thinks he can just expect us to stay here and rough it with him,"

"Well, Ashei, best not become overly rebellious," Shad replied, looking at her. "It's only for a short while, at any rate,"

"Shad, bring me some salt!" Rusl called from where he had, now, built a fire and crudely constructed a spit to spear the birds on.

"At once!" Shad hurried over, shying around the bloody and feather-strewn section of earth, and pulling out his small container of salt that he always kept in his belt packs.

"So when are these birds fit for a Queen gonna be done, yeah?" Ashei asked, casually walking up.

"Oh, in a couple of hours, give or take," Rusl responded, turning the spit.

"I do hope they don't taste dreadful," Shad shuddered, remembering the last time that Rusl cooked something he'd found.

"As long as it's not poison, I can manage," Ashei claimed boldly, turning and heading back into the house. Being a city boy, Shad couldn't really say the same about his edibility preferences. He sighed as he looked at the slowly roasting birds, fighting back a gag at the shriveled heads.

"Well, good night you two!" Rusl announced, one unappetizing supper later. "Don't stay up too late, we have work to do tomorrow. Ho, ho, ho!" he left laughing, a half-burnt candle in hand.

"Laugh it up…" Ashei muttered grumpily. "Well," she glanced at Shad. "Don't let the Hylian Leeches bite, nerdy,"

"Now, Ashei, you know that they only congregate around Lake Hylia and other damp regions," the nerd replied.

"I meant that I was-" she gave an annoyed grunt and headed for her room.

"Good night to you as well," Shad called after her, a smile on his face. Ashei gave a backwards wave of her free hand before shutting her door behind her, cutting off the light of her own short candle. Shad headed to his own room and shut the door behind him. He headed over to his garment bag, carefully setting his stub of a candle on the pile of suitcases that served as his bedside table, and opened the drawstring, pulling out a set of flannel pajamas. Unlike Ashei and Rusl, he was uncomfortable and unaccustomed to sleeping in his day clothes when he wasn't abroad (and wasn't too fond of it then, either), so he had bought these clothes a while back for night wear. Of course, they hadn't seen use in a while, as they had all been staying in the same room at the Stock Pot Inn for the year that they were there, but now they would be worn again.

After donning the pale green pajamas, the nerd laid down on his bed, wishing for an oil lantern to read by, but there wasn't one and, being financially-challenged, the team wouldn't have a lamp in every room for a while. Setting aside his glasses, he blew out his candle, he pulled the travel blanket from his bags up to his chin, trying to ignore the lack of pillow, drifting off to sleep as he thought of what the next day would bring.

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><p><strong>Okay, so we know their first crappy job. You're welcome to suggest funny or interesting jobs in a review (within some parameters), so that we can laugh about making them do unpleasant things for a living. Keep in mind that I'm working on another story right now, though, so I may or may not write more on this one, or even finish chapter 2, which is about half-done or so. <strong>


	2. Poor as Dirt, Pun Intended

**Here, at last, is the actual job. Chapter 3 is in the works. Let's hope my creativity doesn't burn out. I still own nothing!**

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><p><strong>Episode 2<strong>

"Ashei? It's dawn and Rusl is wanting us up, posthaste," Shad's voice cut into the archer's consciousness.

"Tell 'im ta shove it up his…" Ashei grumbled, rolling over and pulling her blanket over her head as Shad opened the imitation curtains that Ashei had fashioned from a cloak, the previous night.

"Now, now, Ashei, it would pain him to hear that after he comes back with breakfast," Shad replied patiently.

"If it's anything like supper, I'm gonna smack him one, yeah?" she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Shad looked around as her vision adjusted to the surplus light in the room, taking in her way of ordering her belongings. Her armor, weapons, and training gear were piled in a corner, with only a semblance of any organization and her suitcases were scattered everywhere. "Don't even start with me about neatness, city boy," she warned, getting up.

"Fair enough, I should be…attending to other matters. Yes," he hurried out. The woman stretched with a groan and headed out of her room, seeking the outhouse.

"Well, I did manage to find some fruits," Rusl held out a satchel of odd-looking red fruit.

"Well, they aren't poisonous," Shad commented, looking through his books. "It says that they're Blood Apples. Bitter, but not actually poisonous, though they stain like the dickens,"

"Is that what we're having for breakfast?" Ashei asked, coming into the kitchen area with her armor on. Shad took a fruit and bit into it. He shuddered at the taste, but he managed to chew and swallow.

"It's not…completely inedible," he managed to say with a weak smile.

"I fetched some water," Rusl pointed to the bucket in the corner of the kitchen. Shad went over and drank a good amount from it in an undignified way that was most unlike him. Ashei cautiously took a bite and fought to avoid spitting it out.

"Great, first I have to use an outhouse that has a broken drain and a few old leaves for wiping, and now I have to eat this crappy fruit," she growled, turning away. "Nice job running the agency, Rusl, yeah?"

"Well, you're welcome to forage for the next meal, Ashei," Rusl replied with a frown.

"I will if it'll keep us from having diarrhea like those Holodrum Fountain Berries that time," she retorted. "Even _you_ almost died that time, yeah?"

"Fortunately, we were in that village with that wonderful doctor," Shad commented from the sidelines. "At any rate, if we're to complete our proposed job within the day, we best hasten to Faron Woods and collect that sand,"

"Right, Faron is a couple of hours from here and so is Castle Town," Rusl agreed, breaking away from his glaring match with Ashei. "At least six hours in all, not counting the time spent searching," The archer crossed her arms.

"Fine, let's get moving, yeah?" she grudgingly agreed.

"Who hires a detective agency to collect sand, yeah?" Ashei complained as they stepped into the Faron Woods, a couple of hours later.

"Well, about that…" Rusl scratched the back of his neck.

"Don't tell me that your flyers said that we'll take any job?" Ashei said warningly.

"Okay," Rusl replied, hurrying ahead a few steps.

"RUSL!" she shouted, prompting him to take off past a confused Coro as he came out to greet the wayfarers. Ashei took off in hot pursuit.

"What's goin' on, guy? Did I miss somethin'?" the afro-haired lantern merchant asked Shad.

"Oh, yes, for many a year," Shad nodded with a sigh.

"Well, wanna buy a lantern? Only 40 rupees," Coro offered, holding one out.

"As much as I'd like to, we cannot afford it at this time," Shad politely declined. "Now please excuse me, I must find my companions before one kills the other," He took off at a brisk pace into the underbrush, trying not to focus on the damage his fancy outfit had to be taking.

"It's about time you arrived," Rusl commented as Shad walked up to him and Ashei. The swordsman looked a little scuffed and had a black eye, but he was, otherwise, fine. Ashei looked like she'd been decked by a tree branch and fallen down a hill, but was all right as well.

"The dirt's around here, yeah?" Ashei commented brusquely. "Apparently, it's behind the Faron Spirit's Spring,"

"Well, let us mosey on over then, shall we?" Shad replied.

So they set off again, Ashei bending a branch and decking Rusl in the face with it as he came up from behind. He grunted at the blow and ducked the branch as he moved on. Shad also ducked the branch as they proceeded into an area with simmering sand that gave at the slightest footfall.

"This must be it," Rusl announced, pulling out a satchel. "Now let's start gathering," Shad pulled a small trowel out of his belt pack.

"Well, I suppose I'll be the one digging, as we neglected to bring any sort of digging implement," the nerd stated.

"Fine by me," Ashei said indifferently, going to lean against a tree. Shad frowned at the lack of enthusiasm to help him and sighed as he got to work.

After about thirty minutes, a sweating Shad wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.

"I suppose that this shall suffice," the nerd indicated the nearly-full satchel.

"I agree," Rusl nodded. "Let's get it over to Castle Town to collect our fee,"

"Just as well," Ashei commented, slapping a bug that had lighted on her shoulder armor. "I'm gettin' sick of this place, yeah?"

"I wish that we owned a pack animal," Shad commented as he shifted the sand satchel to Rusl for the fifth time as they passed over the bridge that led over the shallow brook that ran through Southern Hyrule Field.

"Who orders sand, anyway?" Ashei complained. "This whole job's stupid, yeah?"

"Well, I hear Agitha pays well for jobs involving her bugs," Rusl panted slightly as he spoke and trudged. "It'll be worth the effort," Ashei gave a skeptical humph and crossed her arms. Shad chuckled slightly.

"What, nerd boy? What?" she snapped.

"N-Nothing…" Shad replied quickly, holding his hands out defensively.

They finally came into Castle Town as the church clock chimed noon.

"Finally made it," Rusl commented as he looked around the bustling streets. "Now, according to the letter, the address is…this way," he led them down the first right turn up ahead and down a street that passed a circus tent.

"Good sir!" the guy in green that ran the place, Purlo, called out to him. "Care to try the path to stardom?"

"No, thanks. We're on business," Rusl declined as they hurried past to keep from having to talk to the cheating game guy.

A ways on, they came to an area where the street narrowed in the wake of more buildings.

"This must be it," Shad commented, examining the sign on the front that clearly read, 'Agitha's Castle'.

"I'm not goin' in this eccentric bug nut's house, yeah?" Ashei grumbled, dropping the satchel in Shad's arms, almost making him fall over with his surprised grunt from the sudden weight.

"Suit yourself, Ashei," Rusl shrugged. "Come on, Shad," The nerd groaned a bit as he tried to get the satchel through the door as Rusl held it open. Ashei looked on with her arms crossed, her expression set with indifference.

"Greetings! Are you here with something for the ball?" Agitha asked, curtsying, as the two walked in, careful not to step on any of the dozens of bugs that crawled around.

"Yes, we're here in response to your add for Spirit Sand," Rusl took the satchel from Shad and presented it to her.

"Oh, thank you. The bugs were getting uncomfortable in the rough sand I found outside the city," Agitha took the bag and, somehow, managed to put it in a corner without straining too much. Rusl shook off his many questions as she held out a silver and an orange rupee. "I must share this happiness with you," Rusl took the money and put it in his wallet.

"You're welcome for the service," he replied. "Feel free to call on Team Eye again," He turned and saw Shad studying the bugs with nerdish interest. "Shad? We need to go,"

"But these are Golden Bugs! They're most rare!" the nerd protested. Rusl sighed and put a hand over his eyes.

_Scholars will be scholars…_"Ashei is waiting outside," Rusl explained. "I'm sure neither of us want to make her wait," Shad slowly rose.

"Very well," he agreed grudgingly. "I shall return another time for study,"

"Took you long enough, yeah?" Ashei grumbled as another passerby gave her a curious look, which she replied to with a glare.

"Sorry," Rusl answered.

"Well, what say we head to Telma's for foodstuff and a stout drink?" Shad suggested. "It is the noon meal as we speak and it would be rather pleasant to see our old friend again,"

"I suppose," Ashei said noncommittally.

"Might as well, we may get a discount," Rusl added. So they headed up the road and went straight at the intersection. The tavern was still down the two flights of stairs and as lively as ever.

"Hey, honey!" Telma greeted them as they walked in. "Been a while since I saw you here!"

"Our apologies, we have been rather industrious, as of late," Shad replied.

"That's fine and good, but you could at least write!" Telma pouted.

"Hard to do with no paper," Ashei commented shortly in her flat tone.

"No paper? What's that mean?" Telma asked curiously, cocking an eyebrow, as well as her head.

"Well…" Rusl scratched the back of his head, as he had removed his helmet indoors.

"That's not good," the barkeeper said when the story was finished. "But I like you, so I'll give you food and drink half-price!"

"Hey! More mead over here!" a random soldier called from where he and a couple of buddies were sitting.

"Just go sit down and I'll be by to take your orders in a minute," Telma said to Team Eye.

"Barkeep!" the soldier repeated.

"I'm comin'! Hold yer horses!" Telma snapped, grabbing a few wooden cups and filling them with mead as Team Eye walked over to an empty table.

"Well, this place hasn't changed," Ashei commented.

"No, but I rather preferred it without the discourteous soldiers," Shad added.

"They were here then too," Ashei reminded him.

"Well, not these, in particular," Rusl interjected. "Telma ran those louts out the door when they turned cucco over escorting Ilia and that Zora boy to Kakariko," The other two looked at him. "We weren't here, but she mentioned it to me,"

"What's your pleasure?" Telma's voice interrupted them as she stood at the side of the table with a pad and quill.

"Three simple dinners, if you don't mind," Shad answered. "We're rather short on capital at the moment,"

"Comin' up, honey!" she winked and walked away. They were used to this behavior, and disregarded it, but Ashei still elbowed Shad in the ribs, hard.

"Ow!" he whined. "What was that for?"

"Thanks for answering for all of us, yeah?" Ashei frowned.

"Well, what good would it do to have all of us place the same order?" Shad argued, rubbing his side.

"Maybe we wanted to get something else," Ashei retorted.

"Now, now, Shad has a point," Rusl said in what he hoped was a disarming fashion. "He may have not shown proper manners, but the low-budget meal is all we can afford," Ashei crossed her arms and looked away from her companions. "I plan to send 50 of our rupees to Anju, so that leaves 250 for this meal and other expenses,"

"Mayhap we could look into some groceries?" Shad suggested. "I am certain that they could keep on the countertop long enough for use,"

"We'll see," Rusl replied as Telma set down three plates of seared cucco and boiled corn with three wooden cups of water. "Thank you," the swordsman added to her.

"My thanks as well," Shad added.

"Ditto," Ashei grunted.

"You're welcome, you three," the bartender replied. "Just call if you need anything, okay?" She hurried back to the counter to greet more customers that had just entered.

"This is better than Anju's chicken, that's for sure," Ashei commented as she tore off a chunk of meat with her teeth in a very unladylike fashion.

"I suppose," Shad agreed, hesitant to say ill of anyone.

"Hers was burnt on the outside and raw on the inside," Ashei continued. "If that's not horrible cooking, then I'm an old fisherman with a bad itch," Rusl chuckled at the joke.

"That'll be 75 rupees," Telma informed them as the approached the counter after the meal. Rusl forked over the orange rupee that he had received earlier and she returned a red one and a blue one. "Come again!"

"We shall, assuming the budget allows," Shad replied smoothly with his English tones.

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><p><strong>I'll still listen to any funnyinteresting job suggestions you have (within parameters), so feel free to speak up. **


	3. We Bought It, but It Broke Us

**This chapter contains some AsheixShad, but not really. More like the beginnings that I'll put in between missions if I feel like it. I still own nothing!**

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><p><strong>Episode 3<strong>

"So what shall we purchase with the remaining 175 rupees?" Shad inquired as they headed back to the crowded market street adjacent to the area where Telma's Bar was.

"Let's shop around, then we'll see," Rusl suggested as they headed over to the food stands nearby to peruse the products and prices.

"45 rupees for a loaf of bread?" Ashei scoffed at the bakery stand. "That's ridiculous, yeah?"

"Well, I don't set the prices!" the shopkeeper retorted. "I have to pay taxes on this stand!" Ashei was about to get into a good fight, but Shad intervened.

"Why do we not simply purchase a few apples?" he put forward. "They're only 30 rupees per pound," Ashei gave the baker guy one last glare before going over to the fruit stand with Shad.

"Hey, look what I got!" Rusl came over to them with a paper bag.

"If its anything like the last thing you bought, I'm going to have to live with it and hate it," Ashei said darkly.

"Now, now, it's only a roll of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink," the swordsman frowned at her obvious allusion to his purchase of their new HQ. "It was a bargain at 60 rupees,"

"Well, apples it is," Shad sighed. "I was hoping that we could afford something more substantial, but…"

"Bread and apples would only be 75 rupees," Rusl replied, looking confused. "We have enough,"

"If you want to be left with 40 rupees to put in our metaphorical bank account," Ashei grumbled, crossing her arms and frowning.

"Well, money brings no merit if we starve while holding on to it," Rusl noted. "40 will be a good start for saving up for a stove or pantry," He headed over to the baker, who still looked annoyed from his encounter with Ashei earlier. "A loaf of bread, if you will,"

"Hmph…if there's a next job…" the archer muttered.

Needless to say, their food purchases attracted some unwanted attention on the way back to Team Eye HQ.

"Be gone!" Shad shouted, spearing several Guays with rock shards as they swooped for the bags, for the third time, that Ashei was carrying.

"Here," Ashei shoved the bags into his hands, making him nearly drop them and his book. "I'll handle them," She whipped out her bow and unleashed several fire arrows, sending the greedy birds spiraling to the ground in flames.

Finally, they arrived home around 15:00, according to their clock in the living room.

"Home crappy home," Ashei commented as they put the purchases down on the counter. Rusl immediately took out his quill, parchment, and ink bottle. He scribbled a hasty letter as Ashei headed back to her room and Shad stood, watching. Finished with the message, Rusl put the 50 rupees on the paper and folded it into an envelope. He headed outside with it quickly and Shad decided that he might as well find something to do for the remainder of the day.

As he headed down the hall, he heard battle grunts and the sound of a sword colliding with something. He stopped by Ashei's door and peeked through the crack that she had inadvertently left between it and the frame. She was practicing with her sword, gracefully slicing, parrying, leaping and spinning as she fenced. Shad watched in awe as the blade thwacked against the dummy again and again. He had known that she could use a sword, but she usually stuck with a bow. The reason, he wasn't sure of, but he had never bothered to ask.

_I've never noticed how fit she is._ the bookworm thought as he watched her muscles flex as she sweated slightly; it was so much more noticeable since she had taken off her shoulder and torso armor for increased mobility, leaving her in her faded black shirt, red pants, and metal flexible boots. _And I've spent many a year with her…_he shook his head and forced himself out of his daze. _No, no, Shad! It is improper to think of a companion that way. Much less one who would willingly beat the living stuffing from you if so she wishes._

"Mail call!" Rusl called from the living room. Shad jumped at the de facto leader's voice. Ashei's door suddenly opened, shocking the bookworm and forcing him to fall on his fanny, as the female warrior came out to see what the shouting was about.

"What are you doing, nerd boy?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow on her glum features, her sword sheathed at her side.

"Oh, nothing!" Shad replied, a little too quickly. "Say, why do we not go see what Rusl is on about, eh?" He jumped up and hurried off. Ashei looked mildly puzzled but shook it off and headed to the living room as well.

"We have a job!" Rusl announced. "It seems that Kakariko is having trouble with Guays ravaging their crops. That's where we come in,"

"Killing monsters, how original," Ashei commented sarcastically.

"Well, a living is a living, no?" Shad rubbed his hands together in a businesslike fashion. "Now, shall we indulge in our food or find chores that need attending to?"

"I'd say the latter," Rusl replied. "We need wood chopped and the outhouse drain needs repairs, if any are possible with the lack of tools we have," Shad looked unhappy at the prospect of either.

"Well, seeing as we don't have a hatchet, chopping wood is out," Ashei noted.

"You lack one in your veritable traveling armory?" Shad asked.

"It's not a traveling armory, yeah?" the woman snapped. "I carry that stuff around so I don't get rusty or, Goddesses forbid, doughy like you!" She stormed off to her room. Shad was a bit shocked at the outburst, though not surprised.

"You certainly have a way with her," Rusl teased with a chuckle.

"Do kindly stop speaking," Shad replied before leaving the house. Rusl stood all alone in the living room for a while before sighing.

"Well, off to the outhouse for me," he shuddered at the thought of unclogging that ghastly drain, which he had seen briefly earlier, during his own visit.

"I am not the least bit plump…" Shad muttered as he found a nice, shady tree in the woods near the house and sat down. He squeezed his side and found that, indeed, he had managed to maintain a bit of flab, despite his frequent travels with his teammates. He sighed. _I dislike being incorrect._ He pulled out a book and sat back, starting to read in the hopes that it would take his mind off of the matter.

Ashei struck at the dummy with more aggression than before as she mulled over the latest exchange with her polar opposite in the group.

_Well, he is a bit doughy, yeah? _she argued with herself as she jumped to the side, dodging an invisible blow. _Not that I'd know from personal experience, but…_she shook that thought out of her head while delivering a fatal blow to the dummy's head and jumping away to prepare another strike. _He's so nerdy, he could still be chubby after a month of eating almost nothing! That's been proven, yeah?_ She stabbed into the dummy's torso and kicked it as she sprang away, narrowly avoiding the bed. Standing upright, she relaxed her stance and put her blade away with a huff. _Since when do I care, anyway? City boy can handle anything I throw at him, right? No need to worry myself with pointless stuff, yeah?_

Rusl's traumatic experience took the better part of two hours and he returned to the house around 16:30, stinking and cover in sweat, among other gross things that don't need to be specified.

"My word!" Shad exclaimed from the dining table, which he had fallen asleep at an hour ago, after coming back in from his tree.

"Not talking about it," Rusl stated as he hurriedly headed to the bathroom, taking a bucket of water with him.

_I do wonder how he will heat it without a kettle…_Shad thought. _But I suppose it doesn't matter, long as he refrains from setting the building aflame._

"I wish we had a lake," Ashei grumbled as she came out of the hall, covered in sweat to the point where her skin shimmered in the light from the windows. "Nothing beats taking a swim after training, yeah?" Shad shook himself out of taking her in.

"Yes, a lake does dispel heat," he agreed. _What is wrong with me?_ "Well," he rose. "I suppose I should go about rationing out our dinner into fair and reasonable portions,"

"You do that," Ashei said nonchalantly, sitting down and propping her feet on the rough wooden table. _He seems odd today…_this thought quickly slipped away, but it was still there. True, he still acted normal, but his tone, occasional slowness to respond, and unusual hastiness aroused suspicion.

They waited for Rusl for fifteen minutes before concluding that he wasn't showing up any time soon.

"I don't blame the chap, personally," Shad said conversationally. "Covered in what muck as he was, I'd spend the hours scrubbing clean as well,"

"Yeah, I know how long you like to bathe," Ashei replied dismissively, munching at an apple. Shad was about to comment on her need for a bath, but refrained from doing so, as he liked his face in one piece and she was probably aware of it.

"Did you leave me any food?" Rusl finally came into the dining room, dropping the water pail off while he was at it.

"Certainly," Shad replied, gesturing to an apple and a couple of slices of bread that were propped against each other on the counter.

"My thanks to you," the de facto leader replied as Ashei put her feet down and got up from the table.

"I'm bathing now. Don't bug me," she said in a threatening tone as she grabbed the water bucket and headed off to the nearby brook to fetch water.

"As if we would dare," Rusl chuckled as he sat down at the table. "We are not so ignoble as to try such a thing, right, Shad?" He nearly flushed at the thought of being so impolite, at least, that was the main reason, right?

"No, of course not," Shad replied evenly enough. "I rather like living," Rusl looked like he was about to tease, but decided to eat instead. After all, the swordsman's remarks might have brought up his own marriage life, and he'd rather not talk of that with anyone besides Uli if he could help it.

_I really should visit Ordon again soon…_Rusl thought ruefully. _Uli and Colin are going to let me have it this time. _

_The next thing on our list is proper bedding. _Shad thought as he pulled out his travel blanket that night. His evening had gone smoothly enough. A nice bath, though he had to use his traveling soap, as they didn't have any right now, and pleasant wishes of good night to his friends. _Although we also need to do laundry at some point here…our clothes do not smell at all pleasant._ He lie down and pulled the blanket up. _Well, that bother belongs to the morrow._

* * *

><p><strong>Is it just me, or is Shad getting the most air time in this story? Oh, well, he has the most feelings and opinions, I suppose, or maybe it's because I'm a nerd, too. Whatever the reason, this is chapter 3. I'll still take some suggestions for jobs (within parameters, of course). I could use some humor and there's no guarantee I'll remember my good ideas any time soon. Though I have a few already...reviews are welcome.<strong>


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